In the days leading up to the UFC bout between Ronda Rousey and Bethe Correia, there was significant discussion about which woman would prove to be the better fighter. Or more fairly, how readily Rousey would retain her title.

But amidst the buzz surrounding the match, Rousey found herself defending not only her title, but something far more personal.

Her body.

The same circus played out only weeks before when Serena Williams won Wimbledon. Accusations ran wild that her body was too muscular, and as a result, it was deemed masculine and unattractive.

Sadly, even women as strong and powerfully athletic as Rousey and Williams find themselves the target of body shamers. Losers who focus not on their unparalleled skills and brilliant athleticism, but whether they are viewed as cute, sexy, and demure in the process.

Sadly, this news is standard fare in a culture that has become increasingly obsessed with everyone else’s bodies. Especially if that body is a woman’s. 

Because make no mistake: if you have a body, especially if that body is female, some dipshit will feel entitled to have an opinion about it. And not only will they feel entitled to that opinion, they expect you to bust out your Bic for Her to scribble careful notes and take their insights under advisement the next time your brain inventories its self-esteem.

But what they fail to grasp is that your body is nobody’s business.

It is not here for public consumption, and it is not a democracy necessitating a national vote.

Your body is the vehicle in which you experience the world around you. It reflects the totality of the life that you have lived.

The hikes, swims, trail runs, holidays, barbecues, vacations, and celebrations. But also the stumbles, scars, and struggles that you have known.

These events are all reflected in every muscle, curve, and alleged imperfection that calls your body home.

And you are not obligated to give one single shit about what anyone thinks of it.

How we look is undoubtedly important to us, and it is driven by deep biological and evolutionary drives. However, in our culture, it has become a national obsession. It isn’t one variable of many that characterizes how we view the world. It has become the sole factor that defines us as human beings.

And in the process, we have become so preoccupied with how our bodies look that we often neglect to let them live.

To let them soak in the sun without hiding under cover-ups and feeling embarrassed about the way our bodies look in a bathing suit.

To let them hike and run and hit the gym without feeling as though every jiggle and alleged imperfection is being judged.

To delight in celebrations, picnics, and barbecues without feeling demoralized by the fat, sugar, gluten, carbs, and calories in every bite of food.

You are allowed to work on improving your body, and to work towards the goals that you want to achieve with it. But you don’t have to be ashamed of it. Nor do you have to cover and apologize for it.

Your body is your business. You decide how it looks, how it dresses, what color hair it has, where it goes, and how it gets there.

But that’s often easier said than done.

So how do you work on accepting the body you have? You cannot undo a lifetime of thinking in mere minutes, but there are 3 strategies that you can employ right now to improve the way you feel about yourself.

1. Take a sabbatical from popular media. 

We are bombarded with imagery and messages on a daily basis that make us feel as though we don’t measure up. While it can be difficult to disengage, especially if your job requires staying informed or you share your home with others, you can control which shows and movies you watch, which pages you surf on the internet, and what magazines you read. Do your best to distance yourself from media that reinforce unrealistic notions of how our bodies “should” look.

Particularly, take inventory of the pages you like and follow on social media. Many trainers, fitness gurus, and “fitspo” pages bombard you with imagery under the false premise of “health” and “motivation.” However, they perpetuate physiques that are both unattainable and unsustainable for most, and their messaging is often disordered and dysmorphic. Wipe them out of your news feed and instead, engage with your friends, family, coworkers, and other live people who aren’t obsessed with every bite of food and every 0.1% shift in body fat percentage.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t care about how you look, find inspiration in the people around you, and make an effort to be fit and healthy. But it’s important to be mindful of the resources you choose, because it can be a slippery slope between maintaining a healthy mindset and adopting one that is disordered and destructive.

2. Take a step towards fitness.

And not necessarily to lose weight, lose fat, or as pennance for having eaten too much ice cream the night before. Rather, fitness is about empowerment. By learning how your body moves, responds, and grows stronger, you are able to focus on what it can do rather than solely on how it looks.

You don’t have to aim to become a powerlifter or master Cross Fitter. All you have to do is start. Even if it’s something as simple as a 20 minute walk several days per week, or a solid hike on the weekends. These activities not only improve our physical health, but have a notable impact on our mental health as well.

3. Remember that you don’t need permission.

Confidence and positive body image aren’t exclusive clubs that require a hand-stamp before you can enter. They aren’t something that you earn once others determine that you are worthy.

When it comes to your body, permission to feel good about it doesn’t come from others – it comes from you. Even if it isn’t “perfect.” Even if you’re still working on it. Because your body is your business. You alone call the shots, and nothing about it requires an outside quorum before being accepted.

Both men and women struggle with body acceptance, and no particular body type is more “entitled” to insecurities than another. If you struggle with a disordered relationship with the only thing in life that is truly, undeniably yours, explore the excellent resources provided by Beauty Redefined, or consider looking into treatment to help you redefine your relationship with this most awesome of vessels that you call home.