There is something positively delightful about New England’s woodlands in summer.
The fresh air, the invigorating breeze, the breathtaking views…
And the heart-stopping pandemonium unleashed when you inadvertently startle a Ruffed Grouse.
Thanks to their cryptic coloration, your charming forest experience will go from 0 to 60 in a matter of milliseconds – leaving your heart in your throat & your brain scrambling to catch up.
Indeed – if you’ve never stumbled upon a Mama Grouse & her young chicks while in the woods, you’re missing out on one of life’s grandest experiences.
And if you find yourself in this unfortunate camp, allow me to paint you a picture.
The play-by-play
You’ll be skipping gleefully along the trail, enjoying the quiet, meditative quality of the lush green woods & melodic birdsong of summer.
The squeaky wheel of the Black-and-White Warbler, the sturdy “teacher-teacher-teacher” of the Ovenbird & the haunting “ee-o-lays” of the Wood Thrush will provide the backdrop for this lovely July morning.
The crisp mountain air will fill your lungs, and your mind will be reveling in the peace & solace of the great outdoors.
But before you can say “Eckhart Tolle,” Mama Grouse will explode from what can only be described as a supernatural dimension in the forest floor.
Some kind of portal that will break the peace & solitude with a cacophony of camoflaged chaos.
Your brain will enact a May Day, and your feet will stumble over themselves in directions you didn’t think possible to escape the grenade of pandemonium that’s detonated at your feet.
The mayhem reaches Mach 10 as your exit route startles her little spooklings one-by-one.
Suddenly, you’re not only sidestepping Mama – who’s squeaking & putting on a broken wing display like an absolute BOSS.
You’re also dodging a dozen little flip-flappers flip-flapping in as many directions.
But there’s no time to indulge in the adorableness of these squeaky little Nerf balls, because Mama Grouse has just shifted into a full Chuck Norris as she propels herself towards your head with the laser focus of a toddler that’s just found some gum under a park bench.
And you’ll stand there, resigned to your fate, contemplating what is sure to be an unbridled ass-whooping from a wild chicken in the heart of the woods.
*Hail Mary, full of grace….*
Yet mere milliseconds before dive-bombing your dome, she’ll veer off-course & blend so fully into the background that you’ll think that invisible portal on the forest floor has simply swallowed her up.
And just like that…it’s over.
The songbirds are bustling with their lovely melodies, the wind is rustling through the lush green leaves & there isn’t a flip flapper – nor their wise mama – to be found.
Want to learn more?
Despite their ability to strike terror into your heart when you least expect it, this strategy is an excellent predator evasion tactic.
And when you’re considered one of the most popular game birds – not to mention one of the tastiest animals on the forest menu for animals like owls, bobcats & fishers – you need some mad skillz in your arsenal.
To learn more about these crafty sonuvaguns, check out the Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s Ruffed Grouse profile on All About Birds.