According to a ground-breaking new study that sought to evaluate the trouble with girls, it was discovered that women are capable of using their brains to execute complex thoughts and motor skills associated with being a scientist.

It was previously thought that only men had this ability, with the brains of women primarily powering activities such as contemplating rainbows, fetching a beer, or making her man a goddamn sammich.

It is now known that women use their brains in a way that is identical to men. They were capable of developing conservation plans, identifying trees and shrubs, analyzing data using advanced statistical methods, and publishing their research. Their brains also were found to power physical tasks such as walking transects, digging tortoises, banding birds, and installing kiosks.

Remarkably, it also was noted that both during and after their brains were used for science, women did not sprout a magical sac of balls. Rather, they continued being women.

This information is adding to the body of evidence that women are indeed people, and that both ovaries and the ability to navigate scientific thinking can exist within the same body.

This study was funded in part by the University of No Fucking Kidding and the Agency to Eliminate Chauvinist Pricks.